I got home a few minutes ago and while I was taking my sleeping boy out of the car to put him down for a nap, my neighbor came over to share some news. I could tell by the look on his face it wasn't going to be good. He said he and my other neighbor were both outside and saw something that looked like a giant squirrel run out of my backyard and across the street to where he lives. When the thing got closer to his house they both realized it wasn't a squirrel but a huge rat. This is where the story takes a dire turn. The disgusting rat then turned around and ran back into my yard, under my car and disappeared.
My skin is crawling. There is a monster-sized rodent living in my yard, possibly my garage. My yard and garage that my two-year old plays in daily. HOURLY! I'm freaking just a bit. But it's totally justifiable. When we were living in our last apartment, I woke up one night to nurse Ben (he was still little) and on my way to the couch, I felt something soft brush against my BAREFOOT, so I kicked it out the way. At first I thought I'd just missed picking up all the toys the night before. But I don't forget to pick up toys. At least not the toys I know I could step on in the dark on my way to the couch. So I turned on the light and it was a DEAD MOUSE. I screamed bloody murder, naturally. I freaked both Ben and John out and both were extremely pissed. Ben was crying because I was crying and John was freaking because he thought Ben had died during the night or something. It was pretty bad. It still gives me nightmares.
But back to today. After I put Ben down I got online asap and told John. While I was talking to him, my active imagination really started to wander to where this monster's been and where in the yard he lives. I'm sure his fat ratty body has touched all of Ben's toys. And what if he can get into our house? We all sleep in the basement! What if in a few months I get up to nurse #2 and I sit on a squirrel-sized rat?! I told John this, but unfortunately, he wasn't feeling my horror. This was his exact quote: "There is no way there are rats in our house, you're just freaking out to freak out. You love that stuff."
He assured me we'd find where the little sucker lives and then take care of him and his little ratty family (where there's a mama rat, baby rats are sure to be). Then he said, "There are rats all over sugarhouse if that makes you feel any better."
Um, no, John, that doesn't make me feel better. And then to add insult to injury, and because he can't resist grossing me out, he sent me this:
Why do bad rodents always happen to good people? I'm a really clean person! This should not keep happening to me. Rodents do not have a reason or my permission to be living in or on my property!
11 comments:
Pretty sure that is the giant rat from Princess Bride. Maybe Sir Wesley is hiding in your yard too!
My mom just killed 3 in her yard.
Well that is just gross. I'm so sorry, I wouldn't be able to sleep and Steve would already have us packed up and moved.
I hope you can find the little sucker and get rid of him and his family!
Sick, Sick, SICK!! John better take care of that real soon! Don't you just love caring and compassionate husbands?! ;)
Yuck! Sorry Lizzy! Hopefully the situation will be remedied soon. Real soon.
Nasty.
I saw a mouse in our house once in Eugene and after screaming and bunkering down with Jackson in the back room, I called Dan who was visiting family in Portland. He had no sympathy, refused to come home and take care of the mouse, and then said something like pioneer moms dealt with this kind of stuff all of the time so I should suck it up. I informed him I was not a pioneer mother and hung up on him.
Oh, he was such a jerk that day. Men just don't get it.
I'm siding with you for the first time ever Liz. Rats are so effing disgusting. John needs to move you to a more suitable location. I still have nightmares about the dying nutria in Eugene, groaning outside my sliding glass door at 4 in the morning as they choked on the poison I left for them the night before. I can only take comfort in knowing that they died a death worth of such a disgusting creature....and there is no way your rat is as big as the nutrias I took down.
Maybe it is just a nutria that somehow got into your moving truck on your way outta town from Eugene.
Utah needed a few more pests and Oregon needed one less. :-)
I'm so glad we don't have nutria here. Those are some nasty creatures. They sure were fun to chase though...
Good thing Brian isn't your husband because he would have been screaming and crying right along with you. Oh man...that is scary and nasty. I never heard the dead mouse story and now I will for ever flinch anytime I step on anything in the dark.
I walked outside the other day and found a dead mouse by my front door. I feel your pain.
John's response = classic.
Oh Liz! I am so sorry. Rats are nasty. I really hope there aren't any more! I have to admit I was cracking up reading your post though. John is funny! Though I am TOTALLY on your side!
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